Andrew Boyer Massage | Uptown, Chicago

I survived my second swim workout! To time correctly to my race I skipped about three weeks of Tri-ripped and so probably missed crucial base building, but I think I’ll catch up.

My small confession is that I only did three sets of the workout, instead of the prescribed four, but between warm up and the work sets I swam about 1300 meters, which is by far the farthest I have ever gone in the water. Time just ran out. I have naked people to rub.

I definitely felt very shaky getting out Of the pool, but am generally happy. I discovered taking more strokes per breath is more comfortable. I think I’ll try to stick with that. I couldn’t keep it up the whole time but will get stronger.

There was this other dude there who was clearly a swimmer. He also seemed set against sharing a lane, so it was fairly awkward to have him standing over everyone while he waited. Is there an etiquette to that? I always thought it was to share or is it like busy treadmills? 20 minutes and out? People had been in the pool longer than me, so I wasn’t overly concerned. XSport has one area of lanes without dividers, so that’s where most people squeeze in a third person. I told him he was welcome to do that, but he was obviously not interested in that. Oh well.

Tomorrow is good old running drills. These I know well and am excited to not have to think too much.

I recently decided to take on the challenge of competing in my first triathlon. Since I ran track for so long and took up cycling two summers ago this seemed like the next logical step.

I’m going to try to write about my training on occasion. It will help keep me honest.

I purchased the training program from Ben Greenfield (www.triripped.com) and have jumped in. I’ve listened to Ben’s various podcasts for a while now and feel like he’s extremely knowledgable. I trust his ability to create a program that will work well having never consulted with the athlete. He’s also a world class Iron Man competitor himself, so he knows what he’s doing.

The first week went well. It was mostly various tests to set heart rate zones and training speeds. I feel comfortable with my running and biking but am scared to death of the swimming. I’m able to “swim” just fine, but this is the first time I’ve swum for exercise. I can barely get through 100m without inhaling water and feeling like I may drown. I’ll admit that this is frustrating and makes it hard to complete workouts by myself. I completely wussed out on a swim the other day completing only 250 of the set 800m. As I took the bus home I thought about how the guy who edges me at the finish line probably did all 800 and will hopefully keep that in mind as I splash around next time.

I’ve chides the August 4th race in Naperville as my tri debut. That leaves me about 7 months to build up my endurance and figure out how to get through the 600m open water swim for the sprint tri.

Tomorrow is my next swim, and I plan to suffer through it. Does anyone know what a 6-1 transition drill is? I’m supposed to do that. Eek

Andrew Boyer Massage has introduced a new health and fitness affiliate program that will provide anyone working in the health and fitness industries the opportunity to receive discounted massage work as well as earn free massages.

Here’s how it works:

• Every new referral earns affiliates $10 towards their next massage.
• Every 5 new referrals provided by affiliates will reduce the hour price by $5. This will continue until they reaches $50 an hour.
• When a referral returns for 5 appointments affiliates will receive an additional $5 discount.

The affiliate program is open to anyone who feels like the people they work with would benefit from massage therapy, physically or mentally.

To sign up simply contact Andy at andy@andrewboyerlmt.com and put “affiliate program” in the subject. More information on Andy can be found at www.andrewboyerlmt.com.

The first full week of my first New Years resolution is completed. To recap: I resolved to burn an extra 5,000 calories a week. This is doing anything physical. The two main activities I have are the gym and massaging, so that’s what I kept track of. Were I to go play a pick up basketball game or something, I’d track that as well. I burned 5769 calories, and forgot to wear my heart rate monitor for a couple massages and a workout. This may not be the hardest resolution in the world. After a couple more weeks, including one in Maine, I’ll adjust the goals.

Happy shopping day! I hope everyone had a stomach rupturing Thanksgiving. I know I ate a ridiculous amount of food.

So, massage is not immune to Black Friday deals, and I have an unheard of package. I’m offering 360 minutes of massage (that’s six 60 minute or four 90 minute massages, or a combination there of) for just $330. That’s $150 off the usual price (or $55 an hour). I think this is the biggest discount I’ve offered in seven years of massaging.

The holidays are always stressful, so take advantage and get yourself relaxed for anywhere from six weeks to six months.

Or give the gift of relaxation and feeling better, and purchase a package for someone you love. You can even buy a package and give out individual massages. There are tons of possibilities, really.

This deal is only available from today to Wednesday, Dec. 1, so don’t delay or you may miss out.

You can only get this special through a mystery link hiding out in the internet. Go to http://www.andrewboyerlmt.com/black-friday/ to take advantage.

Enjoy, relax, and happy holidays!

Andy

This one is for the men out there in the massage-verse. There is a small issue that pops up (yes , yes, full pun intended) fairly often, so I thought I’d address it. Clearly I’m talking about erections, which we all love, but what do they mean?

Being a gay man and having a mostly gay client base I am often asked about erections, both by laypeople and by potential clients who are concerned about getting one during the massage.  There is a definite stigma in the gay community that massage is a place to go to for sexual activity, so many people who are not looking for that kind of service are nervous that if they do become aroused the therapist will freak out and pitch them off the table.

Let’s start with physiology. An erection is simply an increase in blood flow to the penis which makes it hard. That can be caused by sexual excitement, but as we all remember from being 12, a stiff wind can cause it too.

Massage increases blood flow. This is one of the major factors that makes massage therapeutic. Increase in blood flow means oxygen moves to the muscles faster and helps the recovery of the muscles from their stresses.

So, if increased blood flow causes erections and massage increases blood flow, SHAZAM!, massage can create erections. Particularly in hip work since the increased blood flow is right there. There’s also a people-don’t-normally-touch-me-there reaction to hip work.

Now, in my opinion, because I always shy away from making grand generalizations in these posts, a therapist who freaks out because a client gets an erection and is clearly not sexually aroused isn’t a very good therapist. There’s nothing to freak about and it should be completely ignored. I’ve had clients who are erect and are so out of it I’d doubt they even know. Why ruin the experience for the client and embarrass him for no reason?

Even if a client is having a sexual response, because it does happen, I change the tone of my touch, and until their hands start getting involved by either touching themselves or me, I pretty much ignore it.

So, the quick and non-dirty tip for you men out there who are hesitant to get a massage because you might get an erection is to not worry about it. I say, go get that massage and try not to think about it. As you get more massages your body will get used to it and your reactions will decrease in time.

Enjoy and relax.

Remember that I write this as entertainment, and that I’m not a doctor. If you have medical questions you should consult your personal physician. If you have any topic suggestions or would like to book a massage you can email me at andy@andrewboyerlmt.com or contact me at 773-809-4312 (texts are often better than voice mail). You can also follow me on twitter at @andrewboyerlmt and become a fan on Facebook. Did you know you can also check in at Andrew Boyer, Massage on foursquare? Well, you can. I’m everywhere. Discounts for the mayor!

I LOVE when I’m chatting with people and they mention random little aches and pains they have. Without thinking I start asking them about where the pain is, what it feels like, when it comes on, when it goes away, and pretty much anything else I can think of. Depending on the situation I may even poke about with my hands.  It’s a fun game to figure out why the person is feeling what they feel.

So, a few weeks ago I was out with my friend, who we’ll call “CD.” (On a complete side note, she’s the doctor who did my spinal tap when I had meningitis a few months back. It was text book perfect. I didn’t feel an ounce of pain. If you have to get one go out to Alexian Bros. in the middle of the night Monday-Thursday. She’ll do you right.) She’s a pretty hardcore triathlete and marathon runner. What started our conversation was that she mentioned she went to get a massage and had some pain in her glutes but the person who did the massage didn’t really address her issues. So, I jumped into my questioning.

This is what I learned:

1) Pain is pretty point specific deep in the meet of her cheek.

2) Pain doesn’t start until several miles (10+) into her runs.

3) She thinks the specific muscle hurting is the piriformis.

So, after putting my brain to work what I came up with is: she has too much back leg action when she runs and not enough knee drive.

I admit I took it for granted that the muscle hurting was the piriformis. I trust CD knows her anatomy. We were in a bar, and I don’t know her that well, so I didn’t feel about. Her husband might not have appreciated that. The fact that the pain starts after she’s been running for a while (a lot of people start to lose the aches as they get going and their muscles warm up) tells me that she’s putting strain on the muscle. What’s going to put strain on a glute muscle? Trying to lift it too high to the back.

Piriformis is one of the main muscles that outwardly rotates your leg. (Random fun fact: a lot of people sit with their legs flopping out, so piriformis gets shortened and clamps down on the sciatic nerve causing sciatica.) You only have so much range of motion to extend your leg back. To get it higher you have to start to rotate it outwardly to open the hip joint. If you’ve ever seen a dancer do an arabesque you’ve seen this happen. So, if CD is lifting her leg too far to the back in her running stride she’ll probably start to just oh-so-slightly rotate outwardly, which will the two actions together will put a lot of strain on piriformis. According to www.answers.com the average person takes 2,000 steps a mile when running, or 1,000 steps per leg. After 10,000 little strains on a muscle it’ll start to hurt.

CD confirmed that she doesn’t have a very strong knee drive when she runs. She noted that when she did more 5k’s and sprint triathlons she was better about it and as the distances got longer her legs started to drop down. I advised her to focus on that a bit and see what happens. Unfortunately, she’s about to have ankle surgery and won’t be running for a quite a while. Boo.

As you all know by now, but always good to reiterate,  I’m not a doctor and am not trying to offer medical advice. Contact a physician directly if you have any questions.

You can find me at www.andrewboyerlmt.com, and contact me at 773-809-4312 (I’m a texting fiend) or andy@andrewboyerlmt.com. You can follow me on Twitter at @andrewboyerlmt, check into Andrew Boyer Massage on foursquare, and be a fan on Facebook.

If you have any mystery aches you want to try to figure out feel free to contact me.

For any of you who know me on a personal level you know that I love my Quick and Dirty Tips podcasts (www.quickanddirtytips.com). Being quick and dirty they’re everything I love in life. My personal favorites are The Get-It-Done Guy (Stever Robbins http://getitdone.quickanddirtytips.com), The Nutrition Diva (Monica Reinagel http://nutritiondiva.quickanddirtytips.com), she has one of the most soothing voices I’ve ever heard and just makes you believe everything she says, The Digital Marketer (Aliza Sherman  http://digitalmarketer.quickanddirtytips.com), and the topic of today’s post, The House Call Doctor (Dr. Rob Lamberts http://housecalldoctor.quickanddirtytips.com).

These are a little old, but I got pretty behind on my listening and just recently caught up. He has two that deal with back issues, so I thought I’d respond to both together. The first is deals specifically with back pain  http://housecalldoctor.quickanddirtytips.com/what-causes-back-pain.aspx).

Somethings I learned from this are that 85% of people have had back pain, over $1billion is spent on treatment of back pain a year, and 75% of people who start to have back pain give up sports and exercise.

Back pain comes mostly from injuring the muscles in the back or damaging the nerves that begin in your spinal cord and spread to the rest of the body.

Muscle injury comes from repeated actions and or giant mis-step. I see a lot of the repeated action type. Mostly by people who sit all day at computers with bad posture (not unlike what I’m doing right now. That creaking sound you hear is me sitting up straighter.)

The single mis-step is picking something up that’s too heavy, weekend warrior football, or just even that time you turn and for some reason everything seizes. I get a lot of those too. I hate it when it happens to me.

(All the detailed medical stuff is on his post. Follow the link.)

As far as treatment goes, he suggests ice or heat. Generally, heat soothes muscle pain while ice calms down inflammation. What I’ve heard is that any new muscular injury you should ice for 48 hours and then heat. If something feels sharp is should probably be iced and as it starts to ache be heated. (Is this where I say I’m not  a doctor and this blog should not be taken in anyway to be medical advice?) They also say you should heat before you do the activity that causes the pain, and heat after. There’s also a thought that if you can rapidly go from cold to heat that’s actually the best. In less than one minute increments. That’s easy with an ankle or wrist when you can sit there with two buckets, but obviously hard with a back. The idea is that the rapid change from hot to cold flushes blood in and out of the injury which brings in nutrients and oxygen.

He also suggests general things like over the counter pain medication and maybe getting something stronger from a doctor if need be.

And massage! Massage helps relieve the stress on the supporting muscles around the injury as well as promoting blood circulation into the injury. If the muscle is in spasm we can help calm it down and help it release, which is always good. Then of course there are the “knots” from the injury. If you don’t know, muscle is made up of long fibers, like if you held a bunch of uncooked spaghetti. Often times when there is an injury there will be microtears, or in the case of the one big mis-step, not so microtears in the fibers. When the muscle heals the fibers can often heal all mish mush (a technical term). Think of cooking said spaghetti then holding the soft noodles in a tube to look like the hard stuff. The noodles will be in roughly straight lines but they’ll swerve around each other and not be all nicely lined up. What we do is we go in and actually retear the microtears and then smooth out the fibers so they can heal in nice, military-like straight lines.

Physical therapy could also be needed, since that will strengthen the supporting muscles and take strain off the injury.

This brings me to the one thing that I felt like Dr. Rob didn’t really address. Imbalance in opposing muscles can often lead to pain anywhere in the body. Ever see a sprinter go down with a hamstring tear? Most likely his quads were significantly stronger than his hamstrings. In that same way, weakness in abdominal muscles can often lead to lower back pain. The stronger muscle is pulling on the pelvis, but the abdominals aren’t strong enough to keep the pelvis even, so it tilts and now the back muscles are in a state of constant contraction and shortening. Conversely, the abdominals can be stronger than the back and tilt the pelvis the other way. Now the back is stretched and working to pull the pelvis back, but it can’t and it gets tired.

When someone tells me they have chronic low back pain I always do work on their abdomen, and in particular a magic muscle group that I’m just going to collectively refer to as the psoas. The psoas is actually made of two muscles, but they work together, and this is just easier. This muscle attaches to the front of you vertebrae about even with your belly button and runs down through your pelvis and attaches on the inside of your leg. This muscle is the deepest abdominal, and its so deep in your body some people once classified it as a back muscle. Its technically on the anterior side of the body and flexes the waist, so its really an abdominal muscle.

Getting the psoas massaged is a lot of fun. No, not really. It can be very invasive for some people, and always feels odd the first couple of times. Basically I shorten your hip, either by putting your leg over my knee or putting your foot on the table and proceed to push two fingers into your stomach weaving my way between layers of other muscle, fat, and organs until I get it. I then repeat that down to your hip along the muscle. Repeat. I usually do at least three passes. To add just a little bit more fun on my last push I’ll slowly straighten out your leg, which pulls the muscle under my fingers and gives it just a last extra stretch. Who wouldn’t love that? I’ll tell you what though. More than any other “deep release” that’s the one that people email me the next day and tell me that they feel completely different. Clients get a new freedom in their hips and pain is relieved. It’s great. And it’s fun for me to do.

This isn’t a huge reason for back injuries, but its something to be aware of. Even if its not the reason, because the abdominals are supporting muscles, they’ll almost always be effected by back pain of some sort.

Ok, so I said I was going to address both podcasts, but this is long, so I’ll hold off on the pinched nerve one for a few days and let you all digest this one. Enjoy!

As always you can email me with any questions to andy@andrewboyerlmt.com, follow my fan page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Andrew-Boyer-LMT/82850286638, you can subscribe to the blog through the fan page, or on twitter twitter.com/andrewboyerlmt, or even hunt me out on foursquare if you’re just curious what I’m out and about doing.  I love texts too, so if you have questions or want to schedule an appointment feel free to hit me at 773-809-4312.

Look for the pinched nerve response soon!

This article came out two issues ago, the one with Paul Walker on the cover, but it stuck with me, and I want to respond quickly. Men’s Health is starting a new column written by Travis Stork, MD, a co-host to the TV show “The Doctors” and a former “The Bachelor” contestant.

Basically, the article is a an advertisement for the column, but in it Stork says that he’s learned things form working in the ER. That’s great for illnesses like type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and various other illnesses from poor life choices.

He extended this to hobbies and extreme activities, and that’s what bothered me a little bit. He said in his 20’s he always tried to find the hardest, craziest courses on his mountain bike, but after seeing people come into the ER with major injuries who will struggle to walk or have some pain for the rest of their lives. Not that I want to walk with a limp forever, or have the pain of breaking a major bone, but what makes people who do extreme things happy is pushing the limits. What’s the fun of doing those things if you don’t do them outright?

I’m far from an extreme sports fanatic, but I spent many years doing athletics, and in that time I took some good spills and did some nice damage to my back. To this day I can’t stand for long periods of time without back pain, if I get lazy massaging I get pretty sore, and I had to stop practicing with my crew team because the back forth motion of rowing was too painful. Here’s the thing, the ten years that I spent running track are some of the fondest and most fun times I’ve ever had. I spent the time with some of my best friends, and it taught me how to work hard, set goals, and focus on tasks. I wouldn’t give up those ten years for a pain free back. I loved them.

I’d have to think that a serious mountain biker wouldn’t be happy checking his speed down a hill or taking an easier course just because he could take a header. What’s the point of doing the activity then?

I guess my problem with this is the implications to life outside of physical activities. We are often rewarded when we take risks and chances. I know people who have quit their jobs and started new businesses in this uncertain economic climate, and are happier than in their ho hum jobs. It sucks when the risks don’t pay off, so we’re in a cast or your house gets foreclosed, but when the risks pay off we’re more excited and jazzed you are and the more fulfilling your life is.

I often have people ask me about what a client should wear for a massage. I’ve been in the field for so long that I forget that people don’t always know what they can and can’t do. I’m going to dive into clothes and coverings for massage a bit and hopefully clear some things up.

First off, with Western massage assume you’re taking at least some of your clothes off. The only modalities I know of that are done clothed are some Asian ones and manipulation ones like Alexander Technique. Western massage is performed with oil, lotion, or some sort of lubricant and requires contact with the skin.

How undressed you get is up to you. Part of what I find relaxing about massage is laying on a table naked. Our bodies are so segmented top and bottom and being nude allows unrestricted movement and integration of the whole body. Not everyone is comfortable getting naked and allowing a stranger to touch them, and some of you are far too comfortable with that. if you choose to you are welcome to leave underwear on. Ladies, please remove your bras. The straps get in the way of neck, shoulder, and back work. You will be under a sheet, and if you’re with me I couldn’t care about what you got anyway.

One absolute truth is that its perfectly fine to be nude. I’ve had clients tell me after a session that they weren’t sure if it was appropriate. It is.

Usually what I say is, “You can get undressed to your comfort level,” and I’ve been told later that people were unclear if that meant they can be nude. Does anyone have suggestions on a clearer way to phrase this so that it lets new clients know they can be naked if they so choose but don’t have to be?

Here are somethings to keep in mind… if you have specific complaints that have anything to do with your hips you may want to consider being nude for your massage. This can include low back pain, sciatic, hip flexor pain, tight hamstrings, or anything that will cause me to work on glutes or upper thigh. it makes it easier to work and attack the muscles from different angles. It can be more comfortable for you because I’m not constantly adjusting your underwear and giving you wedgies. If you say, “I can deal with that, I don’t want to be naked,” that’s fine, but plan a bit in advance. (This is less of a concern for women. The underwear they wear tends to be smaller and stretchier.) Men, if you’re a brief wearer you should be fine. If you wear boxers wear loose fitting ones that have some stretch. The two things I ask you not to wear are tight boy shorts or boxer briefs and the basic Fruit of the Loom boxers that have no stretch. I’m not 100% sure how to describe those, but they have no give.

As far as covering goes, my default you’ll be covered in my practice, as you should be anywhere. In most states you have to be covered legally. It is one of those things where you can get away with it as long as the massage police don’t come walking through your door in the middle of the massage. I often have people just climb on top though, so here’s a tip, if there’s a  blanket on the table, or it looks like a turned down bed, ie. a top sheet folded over, you should get under it.

For me, if you prefer to be uncovered just ask. Most of the time I’d prefer that our first appointment you have a sheet, but if I get a good vibe from you during the intake I’ll be cool with it. Certainly, once we know each other pretty well I won’t care. I almost never offer being uncovered, unless its the middle of July and is baking in my space. I don’t want to make clients uncomfortable, so its never something I’ll belabor. If you’re hot and still want to be covered a modesty towel is always an option. I will never let a woman go uncovered in my private space. It’s just something I’m not comfortable with. If you’d rather go uncovered, mostly likely a spa is not for you. Rules tend to be very strict.

So, there are some of my thoughts on dress and coverings for massage, or at least for my massage. Hopefully it clears some things up and answers some questions.